Complaining.

Complaining has become a habit of mine. 
Man, do I complain a lot.
How annoying is that? 

I don't think I realized how much of a whiner I was until this whole "situation" came about. 
When you start to focus on one negative thing, it is so easy to let other negatives seep in.  All of the sudden it was like I was focusing on everything that I thought was wrong with my life.  Not a good way to go about your days. That, and no one wants to be around a whiner ~"whiners are wieners"...and I was being a major wiener. 

When December 31st came around I was more than ready to say good bye to 2011, it was not my favorite year. 
Something clicked on January 1st.  I think I was inspired by the excitement of a new year and new "resolutions" (which I personally never make - unless subconsciously I decided that my resolution would be to eat more donuts.  If that's the case, then I totally nailed it) but I felt like this was a fresh start.  A light went off and I realized "My circumstances will be the same whether I have a crappy attitude or a positive one, why not be thankful for the blessings I have now and actually enjoy my days instead of wallowing through them."  
I know what you're thinking, "Candice, that seems pretty obvious."  Well, it is. 

But some days this is easier said than done. 
I really have to make a conscious choice to not let one "bad" thing ruin my day, or to not let the fact that I don't have a child yet be a reason for me to wallow and curse at the day ahead of me. 
I will be honest, some days I choose the wallowing, and boy am I good at that, but it never gets me anywhere, except a quick spiral into bitterness, and that place sucks. 
So I have decided to take off my "crabby-pants" and hopefully leave them in the corner for a while.  I have this ONE life that God gave me, and He is trying to use me for something...let me tell you...I am not going to get there any faster by being a downer about everything!

As I write this I am reminded of one of my favorite lines from a song I love, "I can't remember a trial or a pain He did not recycle to bring me gain." (Sara Groves)  
It is so true. 
I am not perfect, I will not handle every bad situation with a smile on my face and a thumbs up (sometimes it's a different finger I want to put up) but guess what, "His mercies are new every morning...great is Thy faithfulness."  
Amen to that. 

Here's to you and me, and choosing not to be wieners today!


Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 10:38 AM

    You are the sweetest Candice. What beautiful sentiments that we can all relate too. One of the things that "clicked" with me during my life of infertility is that I always have to find the joy when someone tells me they are pregnant. It may hide, but I have to seek it out and be happy for them. Because when I told my friends and family that we were adopting, I didn't want to have to hide my light just in case I was offending someone who wasn't able to adopt. I wanted to scream about my boys from the mountain top...and when your time comes, you will too. And all that stored up-I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!-comes back as people jump and and down and glow with an overwhelming amount of love and support for you...because you offered it to them when it was their time. You are a wonderful writer and a wonderful girl. Thank you for sharing!
    -Kris (Heerema) :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 11:26 AM

    For other reasons, I had to come to this conclusion and make a conscious choice to let go of the negative too. We must live in the present and not wallow in the past or worry about the future. We must make the most of every day. Additionally, it is amazing when you focus on the positive and the present, how much lighter you feel and how much more you can accomplish. Keep going down this path and you will find your answers Candice. Love you, Cari

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