Don't Waste The Wait.

In the process
In the waiting
You're making melodies over me
And your presence 
Is the promise
For I am a pilgrim on a journey
~Shepherd (Bethel Music)

In all honesty, the adoption wait has been a little harder on me than I thought it would be. 
After dealing with fertility issues before and after Liam, I thought I had this waiting thing down.  "No biggie, I've done this many times before..." 
I was wrong. 

As I sit here, I think of all the times I've just repeated Psalm 13 in my head:
"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?"
And sometimes, on hard days, I still do.  
But as look back over the past couple of years, I see how Jesus has worked on my heart, how He has changed my desires and tuned my heart to His.  Honestly, none of that would have happened without this wait, as He drew me near and as I leaned into Him.
I don't want to waste this wait because, let's be real, none of this is really about me. God is using this for His glory...yes, even this wait. 

Funny side-story on the Lord's changing of my heart:
At our first home-study interview, we were told that if we did happen to get pregnant during the home-study process, we would most likely have to put everything on hold until the baby was 6 months old. Do you know that I actually panicked a bit that I might be pregnant??
Of course, I was not pregnant and would have been totally fine if I was ...but GUYS, I actually freaked out for a bit at the possibility of being pregnant. THAT is how much the Lord has changed my heart. I am just so darn excited about the baby He has hand picked for us, that pregnancy is not even a desire in my heart right now! 
Glory be, He is good. 

Listen, He really does meet us in it all.
Sometimes I'm tempted to get bitter and compare my situation with those around me. Everywhere I look, people are growing their families with ease. But then I'm reminded that Jesus knows me better than anyone else, better than I know myself. He knows what He is doing, and working behind the scenes even if I doubt it sometimes.  
There have been times when I have felt so forgotten only to immediately hear Him whisper, "I see you...I know you."
Our awesome adoption consultant, Katie, reminded me that I don't have to feel bad when weary days creep up.  She told me,  "It's okay to be weary. God knows that some days we will feel like that and so that's why He made a point to speak to that in His Word. Keep clinging to Him!" 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

And she's right, all I can keep doing is clinging to Him.  In fact, I'm sure that's exactly where He wants me. 

I'm excited to start blogging again and to tell the stories of God's faithfulness through our adoption journey ~and there already are so many. 
"Be joyful in hope..." Romans 12:12

Comments

  1. HeidiMarch 17, 2016 at 3:58 PM

    Looking forward to your posts through this process! We will be praying for you guys!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownMarch 22, 2016 at 12:01 AM

    Hello Candice...it looks like our families are on a similar path and we have a Liam too! We are working with Katie and trusting the Lord to adopt domestically a precious little one into our family as well. We have two little boys actually...and yes I do understand the waiting and trusting, as we had infertility to overcome and many years before receiving our first son Isaiah and then 4 more years (and 2 miscarriages as well) before Liam came forth. We began praying about a year ago now to hear from the Lord about adoption, but made the big leap back in October to begin with CAC and home study etc....which looks like when you began too! It took about 3 months to complete our profile and just delivered them out to 4 different destinations with lots of prayer. I wondered when you all sent out your profiles and applications etc. and how long you have been waiting...or where you are at in the steps? I am very thankful for Katie's group on FB so we can get a better idea of where many people are in this process and seeing the beautiful outcomes too. It would be a blessing to connect and share a bit if you did not mind. Shalom in Jesus, Kara

    ReplyDelete

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