"Beautifully In Over My Head"

"The enemy hates when Christ loving families adopt..." 

This is what we were told when we first started the adoption process, and boy did we feel it. 

I kid you not, all at once random (and multiple) car problems occurred, Will and I both had dental emergencies, not to mention our basement had just flooded a couple months earlier and we were still dealing with that...and so on.  It was nuts.  

I reached out to a few families who had adopted and asked them if we were stupid to move forward...and one by one they reassured me that this was par for the course. 

But again...God met us in each one of those icky situations.

He was there when the manager of the auto shop told me what was wrong with my car. Followed by me bursting into tears at the counter. I couldn't hold it in (little did I know it was his first day...I'm sure he'll be telling that story for a while...).

He asked me if I was alright and I said, "Yes, I'm so sorry. We just started the adoption process and we are really trying to save our money, and things just keep happening."

He was so sweet and tried to comfort me as best as a first-day-manager at a car shop can.

The next day when my car was ready to be picked up Will, Liam and I drove over to get it. 

Will went in to get the keys and the manager asked if I could come in as well. 

I walked in with Liam, and the manager said that our story really tugged at his heart. 

His wife has 2 kids from a previous relationship and he had just adopted them as his own. 

They proceeded to discount our services so much, that all we had to pay was basically the cost of the materials (and this was a big job). 

He handed me a hand written card, a coupon for a free oil change and another coupon for the next time we needed work on our cars.  Tears and hugs all around. 

We were so incredibly touched. They didn't know us at all...but they extended such grace and kindness towards us. 

We will never forget that day. 

Another evening Will and I were feeling a bit discouraged about raising finances for the adoption. 

We had been questioned by someone about the financial responsibility of adopting and it had us a bit down. And we get it, sometimes just looking at the numbers can be overwhelming. 

All we could do was come together and pray - as we had done in every step of this process.  

We prayed that God would guide our next steps and affirm our path. We didn't want to do any of this without Him.

You know what? That very next day was our biggest donation day yet.

You see, what we are learning is that the best thing we can do is pause and talk to God...asking Him to guide us.  Sometimes His answer is, "wait" and sometimes He makes things abundantly clear. 

I remember sitting in church one Sunday morning, asking God to make it clear if we should adopt...and also make it clear how we were going to be able to do it...maybe like a relative we never knew would come out of the wood-work and give us $30,000...no? Ok, never-mind. 

I will never forget the sermon that day.  Our pastor talked about how when we feel called to something we want the steps to be: 

Calling

Clarity

Obey 

Well, if you don't already know...most of the stories in the Bible don't go that way. 

It usually goes something like this: 

Calling

Obey 

Clarity

That church service got Will and me right in the heart.  It was exactly what we needed to hear. We didn't want to pull back because we of fear. If that was the only reason keeping us from our child, then let's look fear in the face and trust God to go, not only before us, but with us. 

You guys, He is there with you. Through this ick and through the goodness. 

I won't lie, this journey has been one of the hardest things I have ever done but I have never felt closer to my Lord. 

There are great days when I  see Him show up so clearly that it's almost overwhelming. 

But there are also bad days - days where all I can do is ask Him to meet me with His grace.

He's there, I have no doubt. 

This verse keeps coming to mind: 

"We went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance."

Psalm 66:12

We haven't even gotten to the other side of adoption yet, but I can feel His abundance today. 

For those of you wondering where we are in the process...we are in the "waiting period." 

Since we are working with an adoption consultant, we see "situations" as they call them (babies that are due in the coming months) from multiple agencies and decide if we want the expectant parents to see our family profile book or not, from there we wait to see if we are chosen. 

So far, we have only said 'yes' to one, that ultimately came back to us as a 'no'. 

But that's ok! We trust God knows exactly where our baby is and the perfect timing for them to come into our family! We are beyond excited to welcome them into our family with wide open arms. 

We are so grateful for all of your prayers!!