Dear Mommy Candice.

Dear Mommy Candice, 

It is currently August 1, 2012 and I thought I'd write you so you can look back at this when you are feeding your infant some morning at 3am...and need a little chuckle. 

Today I woke up slightly cranky and a bit bitter about the situation I am currently in...but you know what else I did? I slept 8 hours last night...I bet you miss that, don't ya?   
You know what I did the other day? Had some wine...remember wine?...Didn't think so. 
Wow, it is just so peaceful at home right now, I just love the silence. Oh, what's that? You don't know what silence feels like anymore? I'm sorry. 
Is your favorite channel still Food Network or has the TV been taken over by "Baby Einstein DVDs" yet?
Remember when your clothes didn't contain remnants of puke and poop? I do.  I'm wearing clean clothes as we speak (minus the brownie crumbs). It's okay, one day your clothes will be clean too, just give it 5 years or so. 
I'm going on a date tonight with Will, and I'm really looking forward to it! 
Come again? Oh, well a date is where you and your husband get to go out alone, no kids, have adult conversation and eat normal adult food. You will get to go on one some day soon, I promise. 
Remember how fun it was to be able to go for a run whenever you wanted? Oh wait, scratch that...that's a lie, we never did that.  

All jokes aside, when you are sitting in your baby's room in the middle of the night, wishing you could sleep...be thankful. This is exactly what you longed for, hoped for, and prayed for.  No, not every day will be easy but that's ok...you're human! You know who's not human? God. He's got everything in His hands and He will be there right beside you. 
While the current me has no idea when God will choose to bless us with a child, my heart knows to trust His timing...you know why? Because He. Is. Able.  
He is able to do things that I think are impossible. Able to carry me in times of weakness and sadness. Able to strengthen me when I don't feel like I can continue on. He is able. Always was, always is and always always will be. Don't you forget that. 
So while I make jokes now about what I can do that you can't (and don't get me wrong, I do enjoy those things), I would trade anything to be where you are now...but in the meantime, I will be thankful for what I do have - most importantly, I am thankful for a God who has the whole world in His hands, but can hear even my softest whisper when I call out to Him. A God that is able and ever-present. 

Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go do whatever I want...because I don't have kids yet (I kid, I kid...I'm just going to go horseback riding, while drinking wine and carrying a purse that isn't a diaper bag.)

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