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Showing posts from June, 2012

Worry.

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Did you know that sunflowers follow the direction of the sun so that they can bask in it all day long? It's called  Heliotropism (big word for me, I know), I believe other flowers do it as well. I guess I didn't realize that till I heard it on K-LOVE, and I just thought it was pretty cool!  Bear with me, I do have a point in all this...  I am worrier, plain and simple.  I always have been. For example: In elementary school, I was so worried that if I went to a friend's house for a sleepover, that something bad would happen to my family while I was away.  I don't know where that came from, but it gave me anxiety, so I wouldn't go.  Or I would go, and then end up going home because I was too consumed by worry (no, it wasn't because I was nervous that people wouldn't like my Jasmine & Aladdin pajamas).   Super irrational, I realize this now.  I could go on with stories like this, because there are many,  but I won't. ...

You are not alone.

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                                           At times, this journey can be a lonely one.  Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing husband, family and friends who are there for me all the time, whenever I may need them, but sometimes this can just be plain lonely.  Sitting in the appointments, going through "examinations", getting numerous tests done, taking the medications, dealing with their side-effects and handling monthly disappointments can take it's toll on a person.  To all the ladies I know (and don't know) who are going through this same journey and to all of you who are struggling with other trials, today I am reminding you (and myself) that you are not alone.  These things you are going through are not in vain, He has a plan and purpose for you and will not let you go through this alone.  Let's focus on that today.  "I wi...

So good.

When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes  You are good, so good. ~Nichole Nordeman Sometimes I forget about the true goodness of God. He is so good and He cares about every single detail of our lives.  For example:  Years ago, when my friends were in college and I was at good ol' beauty school, I went to Hope College to visit my friends and attend a "decade party".  "What's a decade party?" you ask...oh, well let me tell you.  It's basically a party where you dress up in the "trends" of any decade you desire...and I mean any - there were even a few guys there that dressed up like cave-men, so...yea. Anyway, this one, specifically, was a huge gathering thrown at a hotel banquet room...I believe it was a fundraiser? (Hope girls, correct me if I'm wrong).  I went to the thrift store to pick out my costume and had no idea what I wanted to dress up as. I remember thinking in my head "Ok, Lord, help me find somethin...

Wait.

From this one place I can't see very far in this one moment I'm square in the dark these are the things I will trust in my heart you can see something else something else  ~ Sara Groves Discouragement can be a nasty bitch (pardon the language).   Sometimes this whole thing is just hard to swallow...and sometimes it just plain sucks. I hate when the feeling of hopelessness rears it's ugly head. There is frustration in knowing that getting pregnant is completely out of my control - I mean, yes I can do all the "right" things -  I can eat right, exercise (does blogging count as exercise...?), I can take the fertility drugs my doctor prescribes me, stand on my head (it's amazing the ridiculous things you will do) and so on, but no matter what, there is nothing I can do to absolutely ensure it happens and some days that makes me want to give up.  On the other hand, there is peace in knowing that all I can do right now is give ...

Love Letter.

Dear Candice,  I know that sometimes you think that I am hiding from you and from time to time you doubt my presence, but I want you to know that I am here... always .   He has never let you down   never looked the other way when you were being kicked around. He has never wandered off to do his own thing; He has been right there, listening Psalms 22: 24 (The Message) You seem to think that I didn't see those tears that you cried into your pillow the other night when things didn't turn out the way you were truly hoping for this time around, but I did.  I was there with you.  I care about every detail of your life and I want you to lay every burden at my feet.  Cast all your cares on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7  Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5 It's human nature to want to doubt my goodness when things don't go your way or when the wait for something that you so desire fo...