Faith Over Fear

I have two scars on my lower abdomen.  One on the left side and one on the right.  For a while I did not like them.  They are not "pretty", they are rather permanent, and they are asymmetrical (come on, doc, if you're gonna make incisions, at least make em' even!) They were a daily reminder of everything that was not happening inside my body.   Exactly a year ago, this past Saturday, I had surgery to remove a rather large cyst on my left ovary.  While I thought it might have been the answer to why I had not gotten pregnant yet, it was not.  Even though I still really don't have any more answers today, I have warmed up to these suckers.  Actually, I am a little bit proud of them.   Now instead of feeling saddened by them, they give me hope and remind me that God chose this path for me.  He's not going to leave me hanging.  He's the one that sustains me each day and He is the one that gives me strength.  So for now, I will let these scars be symbo

Have you ever had one of "those days"?   We all have. If you say haven't, you're lying, and lying isn't cool.  Being on Clomid can induce "those days" a lot more often (for those of you who don't know what Clomid is - it is a fertility drug...pills, hormones, ovaries, eggs, etc - you get the point.) Anyway, I thought I would illustrate what one of these days can look like...while most are not as dramatic as this one - I just wanted to get the point across. I may or may not have had a day like the one illustrated below... It starts out all fine and dandy. Although you feel like there may be something lurking in the corner of your subconscious, you ignore it and begin your day. The world is your oyster. Life is great!  Then...something happens. It can be big, it can be small. Maybe it is an annoying co-worker who likes to chew loudly in your presence, maybe a grumpy client you have to deal with, perhaps a bad hair day...wh

Sometimes I am surprised by how strong God thinks I am.  Sometimes I  think that He is mistaken...but He is never mistaken.  He has a plan.   Clearly not the same plan as I had, but a better one - I am sure. Sometimes I feel like I'm in the middle of a TV show...maybe a comedy,  sometimes a drama (I watch a lot of TV).  Usually it's like a comedy, in the sense that  every time I turn around someone is telling me that they are pregnant  or "going off their pill but not trying yet", which only means it's a  matter of time before they too are telling me that they are expecting.  (Let's be honest ladies, as soon as we go off that pill the timeline  gets moved up.)  I hear these words and suddenly the sound of the "Debbie Downer" skit  from SNL comes on "Wah Waaaah" and I want to look up at the sky and  say "Really, God, another one?! Can't I keep ONE friend around that  isn't thinking of having kids right now? I could use a buddy