Faith Over Fear

I really wish Mondays and I got along...we just don't. Unless I have them off, then we're best friends. (what up, long weekend!) Time for some devotions, sleep and an attitude adjustment.  Here's to a new week! Hope yours is great :)

Last night I found myself desperately searching for the light at the end of the tunnel.  Man,  this thing called life can just be downright hard sometimes. Hope seems to run away from you and you find yourself trying to catch it like a game of "got you last!" One by one it seems that lives change around me and yet I feel like I'm standing still...just watching. I don't want to live in mediocrity. I don't want to be the "blah" feeling I suffered from the past couple days. I want to be filled with passion, filled with joy and on fire for the Lord. Many days I do feel that fire but other days I am like a flickering candle that can barely stay lit in the breeze. I am flimsy, I am weak, I am dim. Why do I let things steal my joy and happiness so easily? I apologize for my depressing rant...self pity is a slippery slope and I decided to jump on it yesterday. It gets better, I swear.  This mornin...

Can we just take a minute to talk about how wonderfully amazing this guy is?  Wow, I am so blessed that God picked me to be his wife.  I don't even know where to begin describing how much this man rocks my world.  I mean, he still gives me butterflies just by holding my hand, I love that!  When I first met him, I knew that there was something special about this guy - his heart was  on fire for the Lord and he wasn't afraid to share it.  He also wasn't afraid to make fun of me which was a plus is my book (if you know me, you have to have a sense of humor to get along with me...no duds allowed!) I couldn't wait for the next time that I would get to see him and spend time with him - I cherished every minute (and still do!) I remember after we got engaged I would cry to my mom, "I just want to get married at the courthouse! I don't care about a wedding, I just want to marry Will!" (dramatic? yes...but I couldn't wait to be his wife!)   ...

I had a doctor appointment earlier this week to sit down with my doctor and re-assess our "situation".  I left feeling hopeful and encouraged, but also nervous.  We are changing a few things here and there about what we are doing, and change always makes me a bit anxious. You know what else makes me nervous...side effects.  I really have been trying to laugh them off.  I mean, I can usually tell when I am over-reacting to something or being irrational from these meds - like when I spill half the mac n' cheese in the sink while draining the water and almost have a complete meltdown, until Will laughs and says "it's just mac n' cheese hun, it's not the end of the world!" (For those of you who haven't met Will, he is pretty much super amazing...and hott).  Or when I want to punch someone in the face just for breathing too loudly...no worries, I have never physically harmed anyone...just in my head.  Some days  are easier to laugh it off tha...