Faith Over Fear

Welcome to the world, little guy. Your Dad and I prayed for you for a long time and now you are in our arms with you sweet little chin dimple, your baby blue eyes, dark mop of hair that smells like heaven and those little hands that I never want to let go of. You are our answered prayer.  You are what makes me want to get up and be a better person each morning. You are the laugh that I can't get enough of, the smile that I will do numerous crazy things just to see a glimpse of, and the reason I bounce around the apartment at 3am just to stop your tears. Your Dad and I promise to raise you as best as we can.  We promise to be examples of Christ's love, grace, mercy and compassion. But we make no promises to be perfect, it's just not possible.  Nor will you ever be perfect. That's just how we came into this world - flawed and broken.  That's what brings us to Christ. He gives us strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow. He makes all things new. Our p...

Dear Mommy Candice (Part 2), Remember when you wrote "Dear Mommy Candice" to the mom you hoped to be one day?...oh yea, you were actually pregnant then and you didn't even know it.  Fooled ya! Good thing you didn't actually go horseback riding and drink that purse full of wine. Remember when you didn't get a positive ovulation test that month and you were kind of ticked off because you felt like you had taken those "evil-twin Candice" inducing meds for no reason?  But then you decided to not be mad about it because then you could just relax that month and know that good ol' aunt flo was coming at the end of the month, without it being a surprised or disappointed.  Well, I'm pretty sure that was God's way of "tricking" you into relaxing and being even more  surprised when you got that positive pregnancy test...God's cool that way (even though you still made Will buy 2 more pregnancy tests, just to confirm that you weren...

Dear Mommy Candice,  It is currently August 1, 2012 and I thought I'd write you so you can look back at this when you are feeding your infant some morning at 3am...and need a little chuckle.  Today I woke up slightly cranky and a bit bitter about the situation I am currently in...but you know what else I did? I slept 8 hours last night...I bet you miss that, don't ya?    You know what I did the other day? Had some wine...remember wine?...Didn't think so.  Wow, it is just so peaceful at home right now, I just love the silence. Oh, what's that? You don't know what silence feels like anymore? I'm sorry.  Is your favorite channel still Food Network or has the TV been taken over by "Baby Einstein DVDs" yet? Remember when your clothes didn't contain remnants of puke and poop? I do.  I'm wearing clean clothes as we speak (minus the brownie crumbs). It's okay, one day your clothes will be clean too, just give it 5 years or so.  ...

I really wish Mondays and I got along...we just don't. Unless I have them off, then we're best friends. (what up, long weekend!) Time for some devotions, sleep and an attitude adjustment.  Here's to a new week! Hope yours is great :)

Last night I found myself desperately searching for the light at the end of the tunnel.  Man,  this thing called life can just be downright hard sometimes. Hope seems to run away from you and you find yourself trying to catch it like a game of "got you last!" One by one it seems that lives change around me and yet I feel like I'm standing still...just watching. I don't want to live in mediocrity. I don't want to be the "blah" feeling I suffered from the past couple days. I want to be filled with passion, filled with joy and on fire for the Lord. Many days I do feel that fire but other days I am like a flickering candle that can barely stay lit in the breeze. I am flimsy, I am weak, I am dim. Why do I let things steal my joy and happiness so easily? I apologize for my depressing rant...self pity is a slippery slope and I decided to jump on it yesterday. It gets better, I swear.  This mornin...

Can we just take a minute to talk about how wonderfully amazing this guy is?  Wow, I am so blessed that God picked me to be his wife.  I don't even know where to begin describing how much this man rocks my world.  I mean, he still gives me butterflies just by holding my hand, I love that!  When I first met him, I knew that there was something special about this guy - his heart was  on fire for the Lord and he wasn't afraid to share it.  He also wasn't afraid to make fun of me which was a plus is my book (if you know me, you have to have a sense of humor to get along with me...no duds allowed!) I couldn't wait for the next time that I would get to see him and spend time with him - I cherished every minute (and still do!) I remember after we got engaged I would cry to my mom, "I just want to get married at the courthouse! I don't care about a wedding, I just want to marry Will!" (dramatic? yes...but I couldn't wait to be his wife!)   ...

I had a doctor appointment earlier this week to sit down with my doctor and re-assess our "situation".  I left feeling hopeful and encouraged, but also nervous.  We are changing a few things here and there about what we are doing, and change always makes me a bit anxious. You know what else makes me nervous...side effects.  I really have been trying to laugh them off.  I mean, I can usually tell when I am over-reacting to something or being irrational from these meds - like when I spill half the mac n' cheese in the sink while draining the water and almost have a complete meltdown, until Will laughs and says "it's just mac n' cheese hun, it's not the end of the world!" (For those of you who haven't met Will, he is pretty much super amazing...and hott).  Or when I want to punch someone in the face just for breathing too loudly...no worries, I have never physically harmed anyone...just in my head.  Some days  are easier to laugh it off tha...