Faith Over Fear

I really wish Mondays and I got along...we just don't. Unless I have them off, then we're best friends. (what up, long weekend!) Time for some devotions, sleep and an attitude adjustment.  Here's to a new week! Hope yours is great :)

Last night I found myself desperately searching for the light at the end of the tunnel.  Man,  this thing called life can just be downright hard sometimes. Hope seems to run away from you and you find yourself trying to catch it like a game of "got you last!" One by one it seems that lives change around me and yet I feel like I'm standing still...just watching. I don't want to live in mediocrity. I don't want to be the "blah" feeling I suffered from the past couple days. I want to be filled with passion, filled with joy and on fire for the Lord. Many days I do feel that fire but other days I am like a flickering candle that can barely stay lit in the breeze. I am flimsy, I am weak, I am dim. Why do I let things steal my joy and happiness so easily? I apologize for my depressing rant...self pity is a slippery slope and I decided to jump on it yesterday. It gets better, I swear.  This mornin...

Can we just take a minute to talk about how wonderfully amazing this guy is?  Wow, I am so blessed that God picked me to be his wife.  I don't even know where to begin describing how much this man rocks my world.  I mean, he still gives me butterflies just by holding my hand, I love that!  When I first met him, I knew that there was something special about this guy - his heart was  on fire for the Lord and he wasn't afraid to share it.  He also wasn't afraid to make fun of me which was a plus is my book (if you know me, you have to have a sense of humor to get along with me...no duds allowed!) I couldn't wait for the next time that I would get to see him and spend time with him - I cherished every minute (and still do!) I remember after we got engaged I would cry to my mom, "I just want to get married at the courthouse! I don't care about a wedding, I just want to marry Will!" (dramatic? yes...but I couldn't wait to be his wife!)   ...

I had a doctor appointment earlier this week to sit down with my doctor and re-assess our "situation".  I left feeling hopeful and encouraged, but also nervous.  We are changing a few things here and there about what we are doing, and change always makes me a bit anxious. You know what else makes me nervous...side effects.  I really have been trying to laugh them off.  I mean, I can usually tell when I am over-reacting to something or being irrational from these meds - like when I spill half the mac n' cheese in the sink while draining the water and almost have a complete meltdown, until Will laughs and says "it's just mac n' cheese hun, it's not the end of the world!" (For those of you who haven't met Will, he is pretty much super amazing...and hott).  Or when I want to punch someone in the face just for breathing too loudly...no worries, I have never physically harmed anyone...just in my head.  Some days  are easier to laugh it off tha...

Did you know that sunflowers follow the direction of the sun so that they can bask in it all day long? It's called  Heliotropism (big word for me, I know), I believe other flowers do it as well. I guess I didn't realize that till I heard it on K-LOVE, and I just thought it was pretty cool!  Bear with me, I do have a point in all this...  I am worrier, plain and simple.  I always have been. For example: In elementary school, I was so worried that if I went to a friend's house for a sleepover, that something bad would happen to my family while I was away.  I don't know where that came from, but it gave me anxiety, so I wouldn't go.  Or I would go, and then end up going home because I was too consumed by worry (no, it wasn't because I was nervous that people wouldn't like my Jasmine & Aladdin pajamas).   Super irrational, I realize this now.  I could go on with stories like this, because there are many,  but I won't. ...

                                           At times, this journey can be a lonely one.  Don't get me wrong, I have an amazing husband, family and friends who are there for me all the time, whenever I may need them, but sometimes this can just be plain lonely.  Sitting in the appointments, going through "examinations", getting numerous tests done, taking the medications, dealing with their side-effects and handling monthly disappointments can take it's toll on a person.  To all the ladies I know (and don't know) who are going through this same journey and to all of you who are struggling with other trials, today I am reminding you (and myself) that you are not alone.  These things you are going through are not in vain, He has a plan and purpose for you and will not let you go through this alone.  Let's focus on that today.  "I wi...

When the sun starts to rise and I open my eyes  You are good, so good. ~Nichole Nordeman Sometimes I forget about the true goodness of God. He is so good and He cares about every single detail of our lives.  For example:  Years ago, when my friends were in college and I was at good ol' beauty school, I went to Hope College to visit my friends and attend a "decade party".  "What's a decade party?" you ask...oh, well let me tell you.  It's basically a party where you dress up in the "trends" of any decade you desire...and I mean any - there were even a few guys there that dressed up like cave-men, so...yea. Anyway, this one, specifically, was a huge gathering thrown at a hotel banquet room...I believe it was a fundraiser? (Hope girls, correct me if I'm wrong).  I went to the thrift store to pick out my costume and had no idea what I wanted to dress up as. I remember thinking in my head "Ok, Lord, help me find somethin...